A Case of the "Yes, Buts"?

By Susan Britton Whitcomb, Career Coach Academy

There's an illness running rampant among career changers and job seekers, and I bet you've seen a case or two recently. It's a disease called the "Yes, Buts!" Common to individuals in career transition, its primary symptom involves settling for the status quo. Other signs of the disease include a resistance to overcoming obstacles and an emphasis on developing valid-sounding excuses to justify inaction. Let's take a light-hearted look at this problem and what can be done to treat it!

THE "YES, BUT" OF FEAR

For most people, the known is more comfortable than the unknown. The old acronym for FEAR--False Expectations Appearing Real--helps people to examine those expectations and find ways to take action.

Antidote: For starters, name your fears, such as:

• I'm afraid that the new work I'm moving toward will require sacrifices on my part.
• I worry about having the resources I need to make my transition (finances, connections, training).
• I'm afraid of others having negative opinions about my new career direction.
• I don't know if I can do the job well enough to be successful.

Once the fear has been named, get comfortable with not knowing! Life doesn't guarantee us all the answers ahead of time. Trust that there will be solutions and provision. Look to past successes in having managed other transitions (no matter how small) and leverage that into confidence and momentum.

THE "YES, BUT" OF TIME

Life's most precious commodity these days is time. Our calendars are crammed with commitments--some good, some not so good. With the busyness and breakneck speed of life, the thought of making a career change could send you over the edge. Perhaps some of these statements ring true for you:

• The thought of finding time to pursue a new career direction seems overwhelming and impossible right now.
• I want my transition to be quick and painless.
• I'm running so fast that I can't even hear myself think.
• There just isn't anything I can let go of, turn from, or put on hold to make more space in my calendar.

The reality is that we make time for what's important. When a busy working mother is given the news that she has cancer and needs daily radiation treatments to beat the disease, you can bet she'll find time in her schedule. This is an extreme example, of course, but it illustrates that we can make changes in our schedules.

Antidote: Make daily priority lists, and stick to them. Accomplish the "mission-critical" items first--if they get pushed off because of other emergencies during the day, don't go to bed without having tackled them and checked them off. And don't buy into the quick-fix mentality that is so pervasive in our society--a phased transition may be the solution for you. If it takes a few months or even a few years to get where you want to go, you'll be exactly where you're supposed to be every step of the journey. Think long-term!

THE "YES, BUT" OF FINANCES

Money can be one of the biggest obstacles to career freedom. Which of these statements might you relate to?

• My new opportunity will require me to take a cut in pay, which I (or my family) cannot afford.
• My new opportunity will require me to lower the lifestyle to which I have become accustomed.
• My new opportunity requires an investment in retraining and I can't afford the tuition.
• I'm going after this position primarily because of the high salary it pays, even though it will cost me in terms of having life balance or pursuing what I truly feel called to.

Antidote: If finances are frustrating you, develop a strategy to create financial reserves. Talk to a financial planner. Again, consider a phased transition. Look at work options such as a flexible part-time or temporary position to financially cushion the transition. Enlist the support of family--making the transition a team effort, with everyone cutting back on expenses, can add the important element of solidarity.

THE "YES, BUT" OF IDENTITY

The topic of identity can range from feeling insecure to struggling with pride. One of these statements may capture how you are feeling:

• I just don't have the confidence to move ahead. I can't imagine myself doing something new--I've been a _____ [fill in the blank] my whole life.
• I have feelings of unworthiness--I just don't deserve to pursue this new direction. People will likely think I'm being presumptuous and wonder, "Who is she to think she can do that!"
• I am being pressured by parents, family, or colleagues to pursue a career course that just doesn't fit with who I am.
• I'm avoiding moving on an opportunity because it seems beneath me--I've paid my dues and shouldn't have to lower myself to that level.
• My ego is itching! I have to admit that I'm pursuing this opportunity because people will be impressed with the title/company/perks.

Antidote: As members of the human race, we are meant to grow throughout our lives. Only when our identity is rooted in the significance of being a human being and not based solely on what we do for a living (the lie of "I'm valuable because I'm an attorney/manager/engineer") can we make true progress.

THE "YES, BUT" OF ISOLATION

We were designed to be connected with one another! Which of these statements best typifies you?

• I prefer to do things on my own.
• I'm too busy to network or get together with a support group.
• I'm too shy/embarrassed/insecure to reach out to others.

Antidote: Life is a contact sport, and so is your career! If you don't have a job support network, develop a "fan club" or group of supporters and accountability partners. You can also start your own career club in a library or coffee shop if one doesn't exist in your community. Reach out for the support you need and stay connected!
In closing, did you see yourself in any of the above symptoms? If so, be proactive and take part in determining the best course of treatment. Here's to career health!